The world will eventually come to end. When the ground beneath our feet has turned to ash the color of lead, and when poisoned air grasps at our throats with its choking skeleton grip, will you be able to remember a town that once bloomed with flavor?
You might, as there is a Guy Fieri convention coming to Austin this fall.
That’s according to Do512, where a posted event called “Guy FieriCon Austin 2018” is set for Oct. 20.
“FieriCon is a collection of Guy Fieri (and Girl Fieri) enthusiasts who embrace all things Flavortown and yes if you so dare, to even dress up the Mayor of said town himself!” the description reads. FieriCon is billed as a pub crawl. According to the event listing, organizers are still seeking interested bars in the downtown area. The event will be free, but the listing promises Fieri swag to Guys and Girls Fieri who donate to a to-be-announced charity.
This will be the country’s third edition FieriCon, after the event started in New York City in 2016. Like any contagion worth its salt, it appears this year’s edition has designs on spreading across the nation, if the promotional graphic for the Do512 event is any indication. A Milwaukee meet-up is also planned this year, according to the Do512 event.
Helpfully, the FieriCon website provides tips for how to get that iconic Guy Fieri look. The signature white-blond plume of hair and the sculptural goatee can be purchased from Amazon. Bowling shirts, leather wrist cuffs and cycling sunglasses can, as well, but could also be sourced from foraging at your local mall, one guesses.
Attendees must provide their own preternatural sense of confidence void of any shame.
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