Don’t expect to see U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, decked out in a hat with furry earflaps while tracking beaver any time soon.
See, Cruz doesn’t want to be a Canadian. So he says he will ditch his Canadian citizenship. He has dualcitizenship with Canada and the U.S. But he’s decided to split the sheets with Canada.
I wonder how many Canadians are losing sleep over the loss?
See, the U.S. Constitution says you have to be a natural-born citizen to be eligible for president. And Cruz was born in Calgary, Alberta.
Cruz, who might be angling for the White House, wanted to dump the Canadian part of his dual citizenship so it wouldn’t mess up his trip to the big show. At least that’s my theory.
Complicating matters, the Constitution doesn’t define what constitutes a natural-born citizen. Does it help your case if you can demonstrate a keen grasp of Americana? What if you can name, say, all the rest stops on the New Jersey Turnpike? (The Walt Whitman Service Area, the Grover Cleveland Service Area, the Clara Barton Service Area, etc.) Does that help your natural-born case?
Anyway, Cruz is claiming natural-born citizen status, based on his mother being an American citizen.
How about that for irony? Cruz has been known to jump on his opponents for bending the Constitution. And now he’s using Mom to stretch it out. But the real question here isn’t about where Cruz was born, but if he’s a Canadian at heart. Fortunately, there are ways to check this out.
When was the last time Ted Cruz went ice fishing? When he’s watching a hockey game, can he explain the difference between icing and offsides? Most Americans can’t do that with a hockey stick held to their heads. Most Americans think icing belongs on a birthday cake and offsides should come with a 5-yard penalty. If Cruz knows better, he’s a Canadian.
Especially if he holds season tickets to Calgary Flames games.
Here we go again with the old birther problem. Cruz and President Obama have that in common, huh? Obama’s birth certificate dilemma stemmed from being born in Hawaii, which many Americans don’t recognize as an actual state since they don’t realize Honolulu has Wal-Mart and Ross Dress for Less.
Meanwhile, Cruz’s birth certificate problem is that he was born up where curling has nothing to do with a beauty salon.
His difficulty could have been avoided. Some Texans have been known to transport Lone Star State soil across state lines and hold it under a baby at birth, on those occasions when the child is born out of state. Texans who perform this act say it qualifies the child as a true Texan.
Did Cruz’s family remember to place some Alamo sod under little Ted when he showed up in Calgary? Probably not.
Either way, we now know why Cruz was squalling at birth. He would have preferred to make an entrance in Plano. Seriously, though, what difference does it make where a person is born? Isn’t it time we knocked that rule out of the books? Isn’t where you end up more important than where you start? Heck, I came out of the chute in Oklahoma. Do you think I had any choice in the matter? Do you think I wanted to grow up singing “Boomer Sooner”? Me? Who not only bleeds orange, but clots it on occasion?
Then there’s Cruz. Do you suppose he asked to be born in a country where the government provides health care for its citizens? Don’t be silly.
And where is Donald Trump this time around? The Trumpster was flapping his gums about Obama over the Hawaii birther deal. How come he isn’t holding a news conference up in Ottawa, questioning Cruz’s loyalty to the queen? There are some other telltale clues that would indicate Cruz’s Canadianness. Does he think Lord Stanley of Preston, the Stanley Cup guy, is related to Sergeant Preston of the Yukon? If he does, he ain’t from Trois-Rivieres.
And if he thinks the blue line is what you cross when you visit a state that supports socialized medicine, he’s an American. Or at least a Republican.
So those are some of the questions that need to be asked about Ted Cruz, eh?