You’ve never seen a calendar quite like this

Proceeds from Longhorn Village’s ‘Bare Facts and Figures’ 2018 calendar will benefit a scholarship fund.


Proceeds from the “Bare Facts and Figures of Longhorn Village” calendar will benefit a scholarship fund.

The oldest living former University of Texas football player is among the featured residents.

It started, like so many great ideas, over drinks at the bar.

A few friends at Longhorn Village, a senior living community in Steiner Ranch that has its own on-site bar, were catching up over glasses of wine before dinner when the conversation turned to the 2003 movie “Calendar Girls” — a British comedy in which a group of women produce a nude calendar to raise money for cancer research.

“We thought we ought to do something like that. And then we started getting a lot more serious,” said resident and calendar organizer Liz Tait. “So many people put in ideas, ‘What about this for this month, or what about that for that month?’ We thought, ‘OK, we’re going to do this.’”

The result is the “Bare Facts and Figures of Longhorn Village,” a clever and sometimes amusingly photoshopped 2018 calendar that incorporates everything from pop culture to patriotism to, yes, a lot of skin.

The February photo, for example, offers a twist on the TV show the “The Bachelor” — in the Longhorn Village version, female suitors arrive equipped with meals, because, as the caption states, “casseroles taste much better than roses.”

For September, a group of residents including John Henderson, the oldest living former University of Texas football player, are photoshopped onto the field at Darrell K. Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium, with Bevo on the big screen behind them.

And in August, a group of bare-shouldered swimmers in “hippie glasses” are handcuffed by a police officer holding a sign that reads, “Warning! No nude swimming allowed!”

The residents, who are part of their own Texas Exes Chapter (although you don’t have to have attended the University of Texas to live there), had hoped that fellow Longhorn enthusiast Matthew McConaughey might like to make a cameo as the police officer in the photo, but sadly schedules didn’t align.

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Photos for the calendar were shot by Anne Morley, a personal trainer who works with clients at Longhorn Village three times a week who also is a photographer.

“It’s a place I look forward to going to work because they’re all so positive and upbeat and fun,” Morley said. “The calendar really goes along with the positive spirit of the whole environment of the place. I was like, ‘I’m in, 100 percent.’”

The calendar also incorporates fun and interesting facts about Longhorn Village residents, like that one resident was a foreign correspondent and editor during the Cold War, and that another was at the forefront of the computer industry’s development of speech recognition.

The calendar was shot over four days and features more than 60 Longhorn Village residents, said Tait, who graduated from UT in 1969 and comes from a “true orange-blood family.”

It’s on sale for $15; all proceeds will go to a college scholarship fund, possibly to benefit employees of Longhorn Village.

“We just want to do it for fun,” Tait said, “make some money and help somebody.”

Morley says those who purchase the calendar won’t regret it.

“I would hope that everyone who looks at that calendar on a daily basis would have as much fun looking at it as I had shooting it,” Morley said. “Every shoot exemplifies fun.”

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